July 29, 2009
It’s enough for you to say that you adore me
I know what’s deep in your heart
I know that you never love me anymore
I know that you want to leave me
I don’t need that kind of look
Think that you care of me
Just making me sick this time
I didn’t need you anymore
Leave me alone
Alone
At don’t think of looking back
Just to look for my pain
Let this pain bear inside of me
And let me feel that kind of feeling alone
So you don’t have to care me anymore
Rein
Sabtu, 01 Agustus 2009
Jumat, 31 Juli 2009
I don't like it
actually i don't like this kind of life
full of boredom
and full of emptiness
for vermillion
i don't know what happen to you in this time
but i think you need to cheer up
you're strong, right???
hope you can go through your problems....
rein
Nb: i will post my pending posting tomorrow
full of boredom
and full of emptiness
for vermillion
i don't know what happen to you in this time
but i think you need to cheer up
you're strong, right???
hope you can go through your problems....
rein
Nb: i will post my pending posting tomorrow
Jumat, 17 Juli 2009
War child (the cranberries)
Who will save the war child baby? Who controls the key?
The web we weave is thick and sordid, fine by me
At times of war, we're all the losers, there's no victory
We'll shoot to kill and kill your lover, fine by me
War child, victim of political pride
Plant the seed, territorial greed
Mind the war child, we should mind the war child
I spent last winter in New York, and came upon a man
He was sleeping on the streets and homeless,
he said "I fought in Vietnam"
Beneath his shirt he wore the mark, he bore the bark with pride
A two inch deep incision carved, into his side
Who's the loser now, eh?
Who's the loser now, eh?
We're all losers now
We're all losers now
~vermillion92
->turut berduka cita atas peristiwa bom JW Marriot & Ritz Carlton
The web we weave is thick and sordid, fine by me
At times of war, we're all the losers, there's no victory
We'll shoot to kill and kill your lover, fine by me
War child, victim of political pride
Plant the seed, territorial greed
Mind the war child, we should mind the war child
I spent last winter in New York, and came upon a man
He was sleeping on the streets and homeless,
he said "I fought in Vietnam"
Beneath his shirt he wore the mark, he bore the bark with pride
A two inch deep incision carved, into his side
Who's the loser now, eh?
Who's the loser now, eh?
We're all losers now
We're all losers now
~vermillion92
->turut berduka cita atas peristiwa bom JW Marriot & Ritz Carlton
Kamis, 16 Juli 2009
next step
I've decided
to move on
and leaving you behind
and I swore to myself
not to cry
'coz you're not worthy enough to have my tears
~vermillion92
to move on
and leaving you behind
and I swore to myself
not to cry
'coz you're not worthy enough to have my tears
~vermillion92
Can't go back Can't move on
I tried to survive
but the ground is too weak
there's a quake and it's starting to break
I tried to swim
reaching to the shore
but tornadoes came
and i was rushed out
I can't go back
nor move forward and live on
my heart has broke
my mind has lost
I tried to fly
up upon the sky
but i fall without my wings
I can't go back
nor move forward and live on
my heart has broke
my mind has lost
I can't go back....
I can't move on....
~vermillion92
but the ground is too weak
there's a quake and it's starting to break
I tried to swim
reaching to the shore
but tornadoes came
and i was rushed out
I can't go back
nor move forward and live on
my heart has broke
my mind has lost
I tried to fly
up upon the sky
but i fall without my wings
I can't go back
nor move forward and live on
my heart has broke
my mind has lost
I can't go back....
I can't move on....
~vermillion92
Rabu, 15 Juli 2009
(not titled yet)
I don’t know who has started it
Light the fire between us
That burns the connecting bridge
Making a great cliff upon
Nobody knows who had started it
All I knew
That this must be ended soon
When will this fire run out?
How to fix the connecting bridge?
Who want to fix it?
~vermillion92
Light the fire between us
That burns the connecting bridge
Making a great cliff upon
Nobody knows who had started it
All I knew
That this must be ended soon
When will this fire run out?
How to fix the connecting bridge?
Who want to fix it?
~vermillion92
Tired
I’m tired
Because I have been working for a long time
Without rest
I have been thinking too much
And now I need to stop
I have been waiting too long
And now I can’t bear it anymore
~vermillion92
Because I have been working for a long time
Without rest
I have been thinking too much
And now I need to stop
I have been waiting too long
And now I can’t bear it anymore
~vermillion92
Minggu, 12 Juli 2009
Holidays
Yah, jadi ceritanya....
Gw ikut rombongan ibu2 daerah rumah gw untuk pergi ke Pelabuhan Ratu.
Sebenarnya semua itu baik2 saja.
Namun setelah kita sampai di hotel yang udah di booking oleh salah satu ibu2 yang udah berbaik hati mau booking buat kita.
Ternyata aslinya itu hotel adalah "Love Hotel".
Dengan nama lain hotel mesum....
Jelas aja mesum
Udah gelap!
Lampu malah ada yang mati!
Kamar mandi terbuka (lu bisa liat orang mandi di bathtub padahal lu lagi tidur2an di tempat tidur).
Shower tanpa tirai atau pintu.
Naas nasib gw.
Udah gitu
you know lah
namanya juga ibu2
wisata tanpa belanja rasanya hampa
begitu kata mereka
Bagi gw hidup untuk belanja
namanya neraka
gak baik buat kesehatan gw
jadilah gw kayak orang goblok
Selaen itu
ada ibu yang nyaris membuat gw naek dara dan pengen gw tabok
udah tau namanya pergi rame2
eh, dia maksa pergi ke satu tempat tanpa nanya ke yang laen mau ikut ke sana atau gak
Bagus kan!!!
Hampir aja gw naek darah liat dia marah2 di depan nyokap gw dan beberapa ibu2 laennya.
Sumpah pingin gw gampar
Bisa2nya pergi bareng gitu masih egois.
Huehehehehehehe
Malemnya di pelabuhan ratu
gw maen kartu ma anak2 SMP se lingkungan gw
eh udah gitu pas mau balik ke kamar
Banyak cwe lagi nunggu cowo2 kesepian di hotel gw
Tenyata tempat karaoke hotel gw itu adalah bar terselebung mereka
TAik!!!
Berisik setengah anjrit!!!
Udah mana pake ada banci lagi!!!
Sial
REin
Gw ikut rombongan ibu2 daerah rumah gw untuk pergi ke Pelabuhan Ratu.
Sebenarnya semua itu baik2 saja.
Namun setelah kita sampai di hotel yang udah di booking oleh salah satu ibu2 yang udah berbaik hati mau booking buat kita.
Ternyata aslinya itu hotel adalah "Love Hotel".
Dengan nama lain hotel mesum....
Jelas aja mesum
Udah gelap!
Lampu malah ada yang mati!
Kamar mandi terbuka (lu bisa liat orang mandi di bathtub padahal lu lagi tidur2an di tempat tidur).
Shower tanpa tirai atau pintu.
Naas nasib gw.
Udah gitu
you know lah
namanya juga ibu2
wisata tanpa belanja rasanya hampa
begitu kata mereka
Bagi gw hidup untuk belanja
namanya neraka
gak baik buat kesehatan gw
jadilah gw kayak orang goblok
Selaen itu
ada ibu yang nyaris membuat gw naek dara dan pengen gw tabok
udah tau namanya pergi rame2
eh, dia maksa pergi ke satu tempat tanpa nanya ke yang laen mau ikut ke sana atau gak
Bagus kan!!!
Hampir aja gw naek darah liat dia marah2 di depan nyokap gw dan beberapa ibu2 laennya.
Sumpah pingin gw gampar
Bisa2nya pergi bareng gitu masih egois.
Huehehehehehehe
Malemnya di pelabuhan ratu
gw maen kartu ma anak2 SMP se lingkungan gw
eh udah gitu pas mau balik ke kamar
Banyak cwe lagi nunggu cowo2 kesepian di hotel gw
Tenyata tempat karaoke hotel gw itu adalah bar terselebung mereka
TAik!!!
Berisik setengah anjrit!!!
Udah mana pake ada banci lagi!!!
Sial
REin
Living in the World Without You
from The Rasmus
It's hard to believe that it came to this
You paralyzed my body with the poisoned kiss
For 40 days and nights I was chained to your bed
You thought that was the end of the story
Something inside me called freedom came alive
Living in a world without you
You told me, my darling
Without me, you're nothing
You taught me to look in your eyes
And fed me your sweet lies
Suddenly someone was there in the window
Looking outside at the sky that had never been blue
Ah, there's a world without you
I see the light
Living in a world without you
Ah, there is hope to guide me
I will survive
Living in a world without you
It's hard to believe that it came to this
You paralyzed my body with the poisoned kiss
For 40 days and nights I was chained to your bed
You thought that was the end of the story
Something inside me called freedom came alive
Living in a world without you
You put me together
Then trashed me for pleasure
You used me again and again
Abused me, confused me
Suddenly naked I run through your garden
Right through the gates of the past and I'm finally free
Ah, there's a world without you
I see the light
Living in a world without you
Ah, there is hope to guide me
I will survive
Living in a world without you
It's hard to believe that it came to this
You paralyzed my body with the poisoned kiss
For 40 days and nights I was chained to your bed
You thought that was the end of the story
Something inside me called freedom came alive
Living in a world without you
It's hard to believe that it came to this
You paralyzed my body with the poisoned kiss
For 40 days and nights I was chained to your bed
You thought that was the end of the story
Something inside me called freedom came alive
Living in a world without you
Ah, there's a world without you
I see the light
Living in a world without you
Ah, there is hope to guide me
I will survive
Living in a world without you
Living in a world without you
Living in a world without you
Living in a world without you
Living in a world without you
Rein
It's hard to believe that it came to this
You paralyzed my body with the poisoned kiss
For 40 days and nights I was chained to your bed
You thought that was the end of the story
Something inside me called freedom came alive
Living in a world without you
You told me, my darling
Without me, you're nothing
You taught me to look in your eyes
And fed me your sweet lies
Suddenly someone was there in the window
Looking outside at the sky that had never been blue
Ah, there's a world without you
I see the light
Living in a world without you
Ah, there is hope to guide me
I will survive
Living in a world without you
It's hard to believe that it came to this
You paralyzed my body with the poisoned kiss
For 40 days and nights I was chained to your bed
You thought that was the end of the story
Something inside me called freedom came alive
Living in a world without you
You put me together
Then trashed me for pleasure
You used me again and again
Abused me, confused me
Suddenly naked I run through your garden
Right through the gates of the past and I'm finally free
Ah, there's a world without you
I see the light
Living in a world without you
Ah, there is hope to guide me
I will survive
Living in a world without you
It's hard to believe that it came to this
You paralyzed my body with the poisoned kiss
For 40 days and nights I was chained to your bed
You thought that was the end of the story
Something inside me called freedom came alive
Living in a world without you
It's hard to believe that it came to this
You paralyzed my body with the poisoned kiss
For 40 days and nights I was chained to your bed
You thought that was the end of the story
Something inside me called freedom came alive
Living in a world without you
Ah, there's a world without you
I see the light
Living in a world without you
Ah, there is hope to guide me
I will survive
Living in a world without you
Living in a world without you
Living in a world without you
Living in a world without you
Living in a world without you
Rein
Senin, 06 Juli 2009
A Shoulder To Cry On
*Guys, no matter what the future bring us
*no matter what we're going to pursue
*i want you to know
*that i'll always try to be like this
A Shoulder To Cry On (Tommy Page)
Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,
And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.
All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!
And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....
~vermillion92
*no matter what we're going to pursue
*i want you to know
*that i'll always try to be like this
A Shoulder To Cry On (Tommy Page)
Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,
And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.
All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!
And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....
~vermillion92
Jumat, 26 Juni 2009
Questioning
June 19, 2009
Let’s say, I have through my hard time. I have got it through. But now, I think I’m living in this world with no reason. Say that I lose my purpose of being a human. I live in this world with no purpose.
I think I fight for nothing. I struggle in this life for what? I don’t even know.
I’m not happy or sad. Not crying or laughing. No regret or grateful.
Maybe I just feel lonely. What reason? For someone who went away? For someone who now in other country? I still have many friends that can fill up my life. I still have family that can support me all the time. Why I must feel this lonely?
Maybe I just lose my emotion. Maybe I just get bored with all of these things. Maybe…
But I still am searching for a reason. Or maybe I need to go away from this world?
I can’t sing, “And the reason is you.” Cause there’s was no one I adore to.
I can’t sing, “And I give up forever to touch you.” Cause I have no one to love from the deep of my heart.
I can’t sing, “What can I do to make you love me?” Cause I can’t do anything now.
I can’t say, “I have a heart to give to you.” Because I think I don’t have heart anymore to give.
I can’t say, “You’ll be in my heart.” Cause there was no you.
I can’t say, “Life is wonderful.” with no purpose.
Maybe I just can sing, “Living in the world without you.” Cause there was no you.
Maybe I just can sing, “Where do we go when we die.” Cause I don’t even know where
Maybe I just can sing, “I will runaway.” Cause I have no choice.
Maybe I just can say, “Kill me now.” Cause the boredom is killing me.
Maybe I just can say, “I’m nothing.” Cause I’m not human or anything, I’m just nobody.
Maybe I just can say, “Leave me alone.” Cause your existence make me unconscious.
Rein
Let’s say, I have through my hard time. I have got it through. But now, I think I’m living in this world with no reason. Say that I lose my purpose of being a human. I live in this world with no purpose.
I think I fight for nothing. I struggle in this life for what? I don’t even know.
I’m not happy or sad. Not crying or laughing. No regret or grateful.
Maybe I just feel lonely. What reason? For someone who went away? For someone who now in other country? I still have many friends that can fill up my life. I still have family that can support me all the time. Why I must feel this lonely?
Maybe I just lose my emotion. Maybe I just get bored with all of these things. Maybe…
But I still am searching for a reason. Or maybe I need to go away from this world?
I can’t sing, “And the reason is you.” Cause there’s was no one I adore to.
I can’t sing, “And I give up forever to touch you.” Cause I have no one to love from the deep of my heart.
I can’t sing, “What can I do to make you love me?” Cause I can’t do anything now.
I can’t say, “I have a heart to give to you.” Because I think I don’t have heart anymore to give.
I can’t say, “You’ll be in my heart.” Cause there was no you.
I can’t say, “Life is wonderful.” with no purpose.
Maybe I just can sing, “Living in the world without you.” Cause there was no you.
Maybe I just can sing, “Where do we go when we die.” Cause I don’t even know where
Maybe I just can sing, “I will runaway.” Cause I have no choice.
Maybe I just can say, “Kill me now.” Cause the boredom is killing me.
Maybe I just can say, “I’m nothing.” Cause I’m not human or anything, I’m just nobody.
Maybe I just can say, “Leave me alone.” Cause your existence make me unconscious.
Rein
Jumat, 12 Juni 2009
A Fool
This late night...
I can't sleep again...
Just tried to open my wounds again in the past.
Hope he will be there for me, but now he already hate me...
It always will bleed forever...
Tormented Complex (TC)
I can't sleep again...
Just tried to open my wounds again in the past.
Hope he will be there for me, but now he already hate me...
It always will bleed forever...
Tormented Complex (TC)
Blood and Tears
I wonder…
These days, I spent half of the day crying.
How many nights have I spent just for sobbing?
I wonder if tears could dry and replaced by blood.
This afternoon, I did a really silly thing.
I try to commit suicide and make it look like an accident.
It’s really silly, I must say.
I locked myself in the room; shut the door and windows tight.
Hoping I will die because lacking of oxygen.
I slept there, hoping that when I wake up, I’m already in hell.
It didn’t work, shamefully…
I wonder when I will be healed.
Because I really feel frustrated.
I pretended to be happy to make other people happy.
Because people never know that I’m bleeding inside.
No one can heal it, I believe that.
Why is it so hard to hold tears back?
I don’t know why I keep shedding tears.
Why they don’t turn into blood?
Tormented Complex (TC)
These days, I spent half of the day crying.
How many nights have I spent just for sobbing?
I wonder if tears could dry and replaced by blood.
This afternoon, I did a really silly thing.
I try to commit suicide and make it look like an accident.
It’s really silly, I must say.
I locked myself in the room; shut the door and windows tight.
Hoping I will die because lacking of oxygen.
I slept there, hoping that when I wake up, I’m already in hell.
It didn’t work, shamefully…
I wonder when I will be healed.
Because I really feel frustrated.
I pretended to be happy to make other people happy.
Because people never know that I’m bleeding inside.
No one can heal it, I believe that.
Why is it so hard to hold tears back?
I don’t know why I keep shedding tears.
Why they don’t turn into blood?
Tormented Complex (TC)
Stupid Things
Thursday, 11th June 2009, 14:39
Stupid Things
I went to school this morning.
Last night, I only slept for around 3 hours.
Today, I went to school really exhausted and felt so sick.
Again, I was disappointed.
Now, I’m really sure that everyone has left me.
I think I have acted like a pure asshole these days.
That makes senses.
Because that is what I want and what I have to do.
People always hate me and I think it’ll be fine if I add several more people to that category.
I think my school, for these days, really forces us to do unimportant thing.
If I can skip school, I’ll skip it.
For what?
It’ll be better if I stay home.
Doing nothing, just fooling around.
My school is having some kind of training for these three days.
Today, the trainer asked us to run to get a post-it on the paper.
I slipped and fell.
Well, maybe because one student tripped me down.
I fell and even hit my friend under me.
I just realized that my feet are hurt.
Maybe due that stupid accident.
Just put some medicine on it.
Maybe I sprained it…
Now, I even lazy to walk around the house…
Because every time I walked, I will look like a limp!
Still waiting here…
Where the hell is someone who can understand me?
Never feel really alone like this before…
But, that’s great!
Now, I can really be what I want to be!
I’m tired to always sacrifice for others.
While the others never at least show their appreciation to me…
Please stop pretending…
For RP, I’m tired that you always following me.
I’m tired of your extra attention.
I have my own life and I hope for the last time, leave me alone and let me finish my problem alone.
Just do your own business and stop being a busybody.
Stop sticking your nose on my problems.
I’m tired of having you around.
There are times that I need you to leave me alone.
I have been disappointed for many times.
Please think about my difficulties and circumstances.
But, it’s useless…
Because you never know and you will never understand.
Tormented Complex (TC)
Stupid Things
I went to school this morning.
Last night, I only slept for around 3 hours.
Today, I went to school really exhausted and felt so sick.
Again, I was disappointed.
Now, I’m really sure that everyone has left me.
I think I have acted like a pure asshole these days.
That makes senses.
Because that is what I want and what I have to do.
People always hate me and I think it’ll be fine if I add several more people to that category.
I think my school, for these days, really forces us to do unimportant thing.
If I can skip school, I’ll skip it.
For what?
It’ll be better if I stay home.
Doing nothing, just fooling around.
My school is having some kind of training for these three days.
Today, the trainer asked us to run to get a post-it on the paper.
I slipped and fell.
Well, maybe because one student tripped me down.
I fell and even hit my friend under me.
I just realized that my feet are hurt.
Maybe due that stupid accident.
Just put some medicine on it.
Maybe I sprained it…
Now, I even lazy to walk around the house…
Because every time I walked, I will look like a limp!
Still waiting here…
Where the hell is someone who can understand me?
Never feel really alone like this before…
But, that’s great!
Now, I can really be what I want to be!
I’m tired to always sacrifice for others.
While the others never at least show their appreciation to me…
Please stop pretending…
For RP, I’m tired that you always following me.
I’m tired of your extra attention.
I have my own life and I hope for the last time, leave me alone and let me finish my problem alone.
Just do your own business and stop being a busybody.
Stop sticking your nose on my problems.
I’m tired of having you around.
There are times that I need you to leave me alone.
I have been disappointed for many times.
Please think about my difficulties and circumstances.
But, it’s useless…
Because you never know and you will never understand.
Tormented Complex (TC)
Kamis, 11 Juni 2009
Things That Popped Out in My Mind
Can’t sleep tonight.
Although I have school tomorrow and it’s almost 2 o’clock in the morning here.
Why a friendship ends?
Some people maybe have their own good reasons.
Maybe they got backstabbed or being framed and so on and so forth.
But, me?
It’s because 300 thousands rupiah.
Silly damn reason.
I really don’t want to go to school tomorrow.
Lots of thing still bothering my mind.
Usually, at this time, I’ll run to my room and take a comic, which usually are effective as the remedy.
Or maybe playing game, which usually can distract my mind.
But, I have betrayed them.
So, I got no reason to run back to them, because I have turned my back to them.
I’m really, really, really alone now.
No one can comfort me now.
Tomorrow will turn out bad again.
Like always…
Hell everyday everywhere every time.
I’ll turn out crazy soon!!!!
No wonder I got much white hair recently.
Getting old here…
Darn it…
I’ll be trapped between genius people again tomorrow!!!
ARGGGHHHHH!!!!
Don’t have any idea what should I do!!!
My incapability blocking me again…
Why God created a human with so many flaws like me???
Tormented Complex (TC)
Although I have school tomorrow and it’s almost 2 o’clock in the morning here.
Why a friendship ends?
Some people maybe have their own good reasons.
Maybe they got backstabbed or being framed and so on and so forth.
But, me?
It’s because 300 thousands rupiah.
Silly damn reason.
I really don’t want to go to school tomorrow.
Lots of thing still bothering my mind.
Usually, at this time, I’ll run to my room and take a comic, which usually are effective as the remedy.
Or maybe playing game, which usually can distract my mind.
But, I have betrayed them.
So, I got no reason to run back to them, because I have turned my back to them.
I’m really, really, really alone now.
No one can comfort me now.
Tomorrow will turn out bad again.
Like always…
Hell everyday everywhere every time.
I’ll turn out crazy soon!!!!
No wonder I got much white hair recently.
Getting old here…
Darn it…
I’ll be trapped between genius people again tomorrow!!!
ARGGGHHHHH!!!!
Don’t have any idea what should I do!!!
My incapability blocking me again…
Why God created a human with so many flaws like me???
Tormented Complex (TC)
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